Not a happy camper.

I tried to run last night.  It didn't work.  I'm pissed.  I just can't make my foot work right.  If it was just pain, I'd push on, but I just can't land my steps right.

I just want to be better so I can get back out there.  This sucks.

Bitch-Bitch.  Whine-Whine.

Maybe this is a good time to look at some of my other goals...

Dumb and dumber

I got back to my desk after getting an electrode treatment at my podiatrist's this afternoon on the verge of tears.  He told me I should take another week off from running.  I just can't cope with that.  No. No. No.  I'm getting fat again.  I'm bored as hell.  I'm getting depressed.  I'm daydreaming about smoking.  And I have a 4 Miler this weekend. 

Yes, it was dumb to run on my foot when it was hurting.  It will potentially be dumber to run on it tonight against my doctor's recommendation.  I just can't help it.  I have to try.

Baby steps.

The thought of missing my race is killing me.  If I don't race, I'm supposed to go to my sister's husband's aunt's house for a party.  As much as I appreciate being invited to go to my sister's husband's aunt's house for a party, it makes me feel like a loser being there.  Like I couldn't find anyone more closely connected to me to spend new year's eve with than my sister's husband's aunt?

No. No. No.  I will not tag along on someone else's plans.  I will run.  I must run.  I may limp.  I will finish.

Good news and bad news...

I heard somewhere that you should start with the bad news so you leave things off on a good note, so here goes.

I did something terrible to my right foot last week.  On Monday it felt funny while I was running but I decided to power through it.  Bad move.  It started to hurt and I had to limp home.  I took off last Tuesday hoping it would heal.  Wednesday I had to stop running (more like thunking) after a mile and limp home.  Since then I've been icing it but it hasn't improved. 

I saw my podiatrist on Wednesday.  He gave me an anti inflammatory, told me to do 10 minutes in ice water and 10 in hot water, to create a pump to get rid of the fluid.  I'm not supposed to be on my feet any more than neccessary.  I probably won't be able to run my race.  I probably won't be able to take my class. 

I can feel my fitness level dropping and my muscles turning to jelly.

If I don't improve by next Wednesday, I go back for a cortizone shot.  Even if that works right away, I probably won't be up to my level in time to race or start class. 

It sucks.

The good news is that I went in to sign the contracts for the condo.  There's a few sticky points but hopefully everything will be moving forward shortly.

Merry Christmas!!!

Central Park - 1, Me - 1

Brady doesn't like seeing me pack my bag to go running.  This was after I chased him out of it twice already.

This weekend, Central Park did not win, I won!  I ran the entire loop without stopping!  I strategized it better this time and ran so that the Northern Hills would be at the last leg of my run, not in the beginning.  I also slowed myself down so I had the energy required to make it up the biggest hill. 

It was hard.  I wanted to run faster.  I didn't want to accept all of the people zipping by me, but I swallowed my pride and paced myself.  The only time I sped up was the last mile or so when I realised I was trailing a little old lady.  No, I'm not exaggerating.  There was a little old lady runner running in front of me.  I felt too pathetic running behind her so I pulled on ahead.  (Let me tell you, I felt just as pathetic feeling happy about passing her as I did when I was running behind her.  She was the only person I passed all day...)

Running in the Park is a lot of fun but it's also incredibly humbling.  The lower you go, the more crowded it is and the more runners you see.  A lot of them are doing smaller loops so even the runners who are about at my level are running faster because they aren't running as far.  Then when you get up north, you start to see a lot less people, and all the runners that you do see are much more hard core.  They tend to be doing hill repeats and look really good doing it.  I almost feel in the way when I'm up there and it makes me feel a certain kinship with the very few runners who you see walking up to the top of the hill.  ("Kinship" as in "I feel your pain, but look at me I'm still running!  Nannynannypoopoo")  Then there are the really hard core runners that you see a few times along the path, the ones who are all sweat and muscle, who don't even take notice of you as they pass you by with the grace of a gazelle.  After the second or third time you see them running towards you, you realize that they are running the same long path you are, they are just doing it multiple times and at many times your speed.  (They are probably thinking "Nannynannypoopoo," at me, so it all evens out.)  Then you come down out of the hills again and you're exhausted and sweaty and tired and you're surrounded by all the people who didn't go running in the hills.  You try to feel smug about how you survived the hills without walking, then you realize that you've been trailing a 70 year old woman for the last quarter mile and everything comes into perspective.

So yeah.  The park is fun but it makes you realize just how far you have to go...

This weekend coming up, my goal will be to do the same loop but to add another half mile in somewhere.

Jinxed!

Fuck!  I think I just jinxed myself.  I mentioned to someone that I had an accepted offer on a place and then went on to talk about all the details.  Damn it!  Now I know the deal is going to fall through.

My 30th Birthday

I'm starting to make plans. 

I'm sure by now, if you know me, you've heard me say that I'm going to hit 30 in the best shape of my life.  I decided to prove this to myself by running the San Francisco Half Marathon.

Yes, the San Francisco Half.

I didn't register, yet, because I want to make sure I'll be able to afford the trip but it takes place two days after I turn 30.  I feel like you just couldn't get any more appropriate than that. 

Training commences immediately.

I was the Hare :(

I attempted a long run in Central Park this weekend.  My goal was to take one full lap of the park, starting at the 90th Street entrance and heading north.  I knew that the park was hilly but I seriously underestimated just how difficult those hills would be on my stamina.  It was supposed to be just over 6 miles but I wound up ditching out at just under 5.5.

To be honest, it wasn't just the hills that did me in.  I spent the first two miles or so getting passed by every other runner I saw.  Usually I don't mind so much because I'm passing people, too, but that just wasn't the case.  Once I started to get lower down in the park, I was passed my three separate guys who were running just a tad faster than me.  Instead of trying to keep pace with them, letting them go by and remaining focused on my goal of finishing 6 miles or anything else reasonable, I decided to blow them away on the down hills.  And I did.  Three times.  Unfortunately, I burnt myself out like that and had to slow down to a walk for a few yards and watch them disappear down the road. 

It was fun despite the fact that my ego took a beating, so I shook it off and got back to pace.  Then I got slower... and slower... and slower.  I was back on the East side of the park by this point and it was very crowded.  I tried to walk for a minute and then get back to it but my legs refused to run.  It was infuriating.  I tried to push myself but my stomach made it clear that if I kept running, I would throw up.  I know that's a part of running hard but my ego refused to admit that running less than six miles at an average of 9 min/mile, would be enough to make me toss my cookies. 

I gave in.  I walked the last half mile back to NYRR to change and get my bag.  They were having a number pick up for a race so I felt extra rotten about ditching out because I was suddenly surrounded by serious runners.  I did, however, decide right then and there that I would 1) spend every weekend trying to conquer the hills at Central Park and finish my one full loop  2) learn to tune out any other runners and embrace my inner tortoise  3) someday become a serious runner.

Wish me luck.