Learning

Quitting smoking is exactly like those new quitting smoking commercials. Today I started to learn how to walk from the train station to school without smoking. I got to school, slightly disoriented, and tried to learn what people do when they're early for something and they don't smoke. I sat down on the ledge outside my school but I couldn't figure out why I was sitting outside where it was cold.

I noticed, as I sat there, that through my cold I could smell the smoke from the people around me. Now, I couldn't smell the coffee in my hand, couldn't smell the coffee in Dunkin Donuts, couldn't smell the toast I accidentally set on fire this morning, couldn't smell the Flatbush Ave train station, couldn't smell the homeopathic sinus-clearing garlic-cayenne-sea salt-honey-vinegar-ginger "tea" I drank this morning. I couldn't smell anything all day but my addicty, endorphin starved brain could pick out the smell of a cigarette.

I picked myself up off the ledge I was sitting on, walked over to the ash tray, realized I didn't have anything to contribute to it and walked into the building. I sat down and wrote the following list of reasons I don't want to smoke.

1. I don't want to die
2. I can't breathe
3. My asthma has been acting up for weeks
4. $9 per day = $300 per month = $3,600 per year
5. Yellow teeth
6. I'm getting crow's feet
7. I can't exercise
8. I taste like an ashtray
9. I'm past the age where my doctor will prescribe me birth control despite the fact that I'm a smoker
10. Smoker's hack is about as sexy as pink eye
11. Smoking makes me have something in common with people who live in trailers
12. I like to taste things
13. I'm sick as hell, a cigarette would make me feel exponentially worse and yet it still temps me

I'm home now. I didn't smoke. I'm trying to learn how to get ready for bed without a cigarette.

More on quitting

So, I went to work today. Still sick. Came home early. Still not smoking... I didn't even really think about it to tell you the truth. I know it's going to be hard once I'm feeling better, but I need to take advantage of this opportunity. I've made it past the detox stage so from here on in it's all psychological. That's a gift I don't want to waste.

Quitting smoking

So, I had planned to quit this Sat. coming up, but life got in the way and I haven't had a cigarette in over 48 hours. I'm not sure if that counts as quitting because I'm so sick right now I don't think I could smoke a cigarette if I wanted to. Then again, the fact that I'm not planning on smoking again would make me a former smoker eventually.

I guess I'll find out where I'm at tomorrow when I actually have to leave my house. Then again, if I still feel like I do right now, it won't be a problem.

Please don't mention it to me, though. If I'm not talking about smoking, then I'm not thinking about it and that's a good thing.

30 before 30

Okay, here's the list of things I'm going to accomplish before my thirtieth birthday. It's not that any of them will be any less significant if they are done later, but I think my thirtieth is a nice deadline for things that I have been putting off, talking about, dreaming about, etc. So, here's the list:
1) Quit smoking
2) Pay off my student loans
3) Dye my hair RED
4) Join a gym and get in shape for the first time ever
5) Buy a starter apartment
6) Learn to live on a budget
7) Cultivate a taste for Scotch
8) Improve posture
9) Consistently get up when the alarm goes off the first time
10) Get my teeth whitened and veneers
11) Improve my credit to the point where #5 will be possible
12) Go to Mardi Gras
13) Learn Spanish well enough to understand people on the train
14) Enroll in the 401K
15) Enter, and perhaps complete, grad school
16) Take care of my skin
17) Get hobby that doesn't qualify as a vice
18) Learn to type (I know, I know...)
19) Own a real pet
20) Straighten out my identification situation
21) Bring my voice down an octave
22) Get back into yoga
23) Take up a martial art (or at least try a few classes to see if I like it)

More to follow...