Peaks and Valleys

Okay, so I'm on my 2nd day of my fifth week of being cigarette free. I'm on the patch which has made it ridiculously easy to quit smoking. I mean almost painless. I don't even want to smoke at all. That said, I'm still a nicotine addict cause I haven't gone through withdrawal, yet. It makes me realize what my addiction really is.

In the past, after going through withdrawal, I'd still kind of want a cigarette. I'd still be pulled towards them. I'd still feel something about them even months later. I thought that this was just habit because I had already detoxed. Now I realize that it wasn't. My body will always crave nicotine. Right now, I have no urge to smoke. None. And it's weird. I smell smokers and it just smells like smoke. Not good or bad. Not tempting or repulsive. I just smell it. I wonder if this is what it's like for you guys?

Well, trying to kill this 15lbs I gained hasn't gone as well. In fact it hasn't gone at all. I eat right and don't lose an ounce. I've been so hard on myself. I'm pretty sure I've been harder than I usually am when I'm losing weight, but nada. I'm going to walk home from the junction tonight cause I know that I need to be more active and then it will come right off, right? Plus I'm PMSing and ate 2 chocolate bars today! But they both deserved it! So anyway I have to work it off just to break even....